How to talk like a n00blet: Part One

FILLER POST!!!!!!

How I mine for fish?
hw i mn 4 fsh
Remember, do not capitalize or use any punctuation at all! Also, do not use any vowels unless the vowels form one half or more of the word, or if the vowel is absolutely critical for the pronounciation. Substitute numbers for words that sound the same.

For instance:
I'm going to go skate on my skateboard.
i gnna go sk8 wth my sk8brd

Another example:

Please sir, do you have any spare change that you could give to a poor soul such as myself?
Spr monies fr a n00b?

More n00b lessons coming your way in Part Two.

How to Talk Like a n00blet: Part Two

Alright, lets get right down to business.

First of all, abbreviate as often as you can! (Why is abbreviate such a long word?) Also, make it extremely hard to see what you're trying to say. Remember, no puctuation at all!

For Instance:
How are you doing?
hw r u don

Another fine method is to use the word teh instead of the, interwebs for the internet, etc.

For Instance:
I love the internet.
i lv teh intarwebs.

Another keen trick is to shorten entire phrases into small meaningless blobbs of letters.

For Instance:
Be right back!
brb